The first time I heard that phrase, I was intrigued and soon, began making some findings. Impostor syndrome (also known as impostor phenomenon, impostorism, fraud syndrome or the impostor experience) is a psychological pattern in which one doubts one's accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a "fraud".
Simply put, the consciousness that says you are undeserving of some good things as a person.
One of the famous people to ever publicly speak about battling impostor syndrome is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She is the youngest person to ever be elected into the US Congress at age 29. Few months before winning the election, Alexandria was working as a waitress in the Bronx with two other low paying jobs to support herself and her mother. Now, imagine the excitement or even terror of being elected to a place that boasts of privileged old white men.
The symptoms of impostors syndrome including believing you are not worthy of some things or that you don't possess the enough requirements for that position.
Impostor syndrome has been categorized to be rampant among;
1. People from low income backgrounds (many of us fall into this category)
2. People who suffered emotional abuse consequently affecting their self esteem.
It makes you do include but not limited to
1. Not making efforts to go for bigger goals
2. Not daring to aim higher
Personally, I battle impostor's syndrome everyday and I categorized mine as originating from being born in a low income home. I feel that I am not worthy for something or that I will never be good enough and so, I refrain from making any attempt.
In 2018, I came across this fellowship program, it is one of the world's most prestigious as only 20 persons will be selected.
Out of fear, I did not apply but gave the application link to another person whom I felt is more qualified than myself. He applied but was rejected. His rejection literally confirmed my fears — if this person didn't get in, who am I to think I would?
2019 came and another call for application was made. This time, I decided to try because an older friend of mine kept saying "oh you're awesome, they'll select you, you have all the criteria as they are looking for young leaders and you are a leader". Her words were lubricants to my rustic confidence (we will get to where positive affirmations are a means to fighting impostor's syndrome). I wrote my essays, got recommended by two organisations I've been working with to achieve sustainable development in rural communities of Nigeria, had every document with me but did not submit until the last week of application. I did not submit earlier out of doubt, several things kept reoccurring in my essays — farmer's kid, local scholarship is paying for tuition at a local university while I will be competing with Ivy League schools students. My fear made me forgot how I organized projects to provide mentorship opportunities to 2000 girls in rural communities of my state with just a team of 5 volunteers while keeping my grades in good form to keep my scholarship.
That is what impostor's syndrome does; make you forget how awesome you are.
Early 2020, results were out. I was selected as an alternate. Despite the uncertainty of that position, it was a boost to my self esteem and morale knowing that my application was good enough to get that close to selection.
In March 2020 when I was named one of the "Top 100 women creating a better Africa" with the likes of Chimamanda Adichie (Award winning author), Phumzile Mlambo (UN Women Executive Director), Angelique Kidjo (Grammy Awards winning singer), Sahle-Work Zewde (President of Ethiopia) and Aya Chebbi (African Union Youth Envoy), the syndrome crept in but I managed to shut it out.
How to fight impostor syndrome.
First be like me. Do not brood on how your application was good but never good enough to be confirmed as a fellow, think on how it was good enough to get that close to selection.
Also, take your minds off how you may not fit into the criteria because of your backgrounds, think of how awesome you are for taking charge of your life and getting to where you are.
Furthermore, work on your positive affirmations to remind yourself of what you stand for as a person and not what reality gives you.
But most importantly, surround yourself with people who reminds you of who you are.
This is not about gaining sycophants but people who will provide constructive criticisms of you and also will remember to pat your back whenever you do well.
I know you are the best thing to happen since sliced bread and invention of the airplane, I just want to remind you to believe it truly.
Yours in power,
Oluwadamilola Akintewe.
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